"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
Anger is a prevalent issue for men. Christian counselor, Dr. Gary Rosberg, argues that anger is the predominant emotion men filter their feelings and emotions through. Because men struggle to articulate how they're feeling, anger is the tool of choice to convey how they are feeling even though it may be sadness, frustration, disappointment, etc, that they are actually feeling, not anger.
The more men I've discussed this with over the years, the more confidant I am that Dr. Rosberg's assessment is spot on. They identify with the communication struggle to articulate their emotions that manifests itself in anger. But is that the only issue men need to address?
According to James, anger originates from a quick tongue and a closed ear. It does not yield to the other person speaking. Rather, it protects self by dominating the conversation to gain control. I find that when I get defensive over an accusation, whether true or false, I begin plotting my rebuttal rather than listening to understand. Or when I feel my opinion is not being heard, I raise my volume or cut off the other person from speaking (especially my wife), to no avail. Or when I react versus respond and do not think before I speak but throw stones to deflect conviction, anger rises to the surface.
Now of course there is such a thing as righteous anger that can be justified, but James appears to be concerned with the non-righteous variety that we're much more affluent in. We do have a choice though and self-control is available through the Spirit 24/7, so we can improve mightily in this area without excuse. I also firmly believe we can learn an infinite amount of wisdom from our wives who articulate feelings better than we do. The question is: Are we humble enough to receive rebuke and correction in this area?
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