Psalm 32:3-5

"For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.'" When a man or woman accepts Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8), he or she is embarking on an incredible journey, one that will test the core of what an individual thinks about him or herself. There is a shift in the heart of the individual who accepts Christ's atoning sacrifice, for the reality of sin rises to the surface as the Holy Spirit convicts and becomes the gauge by which genuineness and depth of faith is measured. "He (the Holy Spirit) will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment" (John 16:8). Now Psalm 32:1-2 accurately describes the blessing of that process which results in forgiveness, but the following three verses of Psalm 32 give the reader understanding on what brought King David to the point of recognition his sin and repentance. In other words, verses 3-5 entail the sanctification process David endured that resulted in the blessing of forgiveness. Interestingly, in comparison to Psalm 51 written by David as a result of his adultery with Bathsheba and murder of Uriah, the emphasis on Psalm 32:3-5 is "traced not so much to the speaker's (David's) sin as to his 'silence' about his sin and to his 'covering it up'" (New International Biblical Commentary). The apostle Paul supports this point by plainly addressing the issues of accountability (i.e. we are accountable for our sin) and sin recognition (i.e. through God's Word we have knowledge of sin) that guard us against covering up our sins. He writes, "Now we know that whatever the law says it speaks to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be stopped, and the whole world may be held accountable to God. For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin" (Romans 3:19-20). Let us be clear though that ALL men are held accountable before God, not just those who profess Jesus as Lord, and Paul essentially spends the entire first three chapters of the book of Romans addressing that singular point. Recognition of sin (as learned through the life of David) is impossible without a Biblical construct of absolute truth. For the professing follower of Jesus Christ, knowledge of the Bible is foundational because in summation it leads to the cross of Calvary. That truth is paramount, for without the cross we would have no bridge between God's wrath (His law) and God's love (His sacrifice of Jesus Christ for the penalty of our sins). Ephesians 2:13-16 states plainly that "by the blood of Christ...he himself made us one...by abolishing the law of commandments...to reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross." Therefore we are foolish to believe that we can exist as men and women of righteousness for the sake of the Gospel if we do not feed upon our only source of absolute truth that proclaims for us God's eternal grace and mercy through Jesus Christ. However there must be a connection between knowledge of the mind and application of the heart to avoid that which David demonstrated through his silence of sin. For if God's Word does not impact our heart, we invite temptation into our lives with rapidly increasing frequency and intensity, and consequently fall prey to sinful desires. Personally I have experienced firsthand the absolute truth David describes and have lived in the silence of private sin that undoubtedly gives Satan a foothold. I have experienced extreme conviction regarding the truth of 1 Corinthians 4:5, "Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God," and have felt the heavy hand of God that David so accurately points out. God's contempt for sin is absolute, but because He loves us He allows us to choose sin or righteousness through every thought and action we make. Make no mistake though that if you are genuinely seeking to "know him," He will expose the darkness in your life as He did mine and give you the opportunity to confess your sin before Him and those you have sinned against. When I reflect upon my recent Psalm 32:3-5 testimony, I am haunted that I fell completely victim by my own volition to Hebrews 10:26-31. It is one of the most bone chilling and convicting passages of Scripture I have ever read and it is a model of where I recently found myself in my faith walk with Christ. It reads: "For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has spurned the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Hebrews 10:26-31). To reflect upon that passage of Scripture brings an excruciatingly intense feeling of guilt and shame to my heart and enormous regret for the sins I have committed and their destruction on my life and the lives of those I have directly and indirectly sinned against. I am humbled beyond words by the honest truth that due to a lack of genuine faith (Matthew 17:20), my selfish pride and stubbornness has magnified the disconnect between my heart and mind. That is the reality of David's experience in Psalm 32:3-5 and I concur completely for I have made the same grievous mistake in my own life. I cannot begin to describe how humbling it has been for me to accept that I have lived the majority of my life under the illusion of a logical understanding of God's Word and what a true relationship with Him looks like rather than washing myself daily through prayer and repentance, feeding my heart and mind upon God's Word. I have had to come to terms that for years I hypocritically preached to others on the constructs of righteous living while living without spiritual disciplines firmly planted in my own life. Oh, how I now emphatically confess, "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" (Romans 7:24). Only recently through the process of Biblical counseling, accountability, immeasurable amounts of love, grace and mercy by others, and embracing/practicing daily spiritual disciplines has God completely taken my heart captive through the absolute truth of His Word, shattering my self-protecting pride and rebuilding me through humility and self-sacrifice. My perspective has changed now, and like Paul I proclaim from my transformed mind and heart, "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost" (1 Timothy 1:15). For truly, if God had not heavily pressed His hand upon me I would be wasting away, covering my sins and living the life of a self-righteous hypocrite till my prideful and self-protecting walls came crashing down upon me with substantially greater destruction. Praise God that "the works of his hands are faithful and just" (Psalm 111:7), for if He did not love me He would not have allowed me to endure this sanctifying process that ultimately saved my life "and let steadfastness have its full effect, that (I) may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:4).