EVEN WHEN IT HURTS (Personal Reflection)

Take this fainted heart

Take these tainted hands

Wash me in your love

Come like grace again

Even when my strength is lost

I'll praise you

Even when I have no song

I'll praise you

Even when it's hard to find the words

Louder then I'll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

Take this mountain weight

Take these ocean tears

Hold me through the trial

Come like hope again

Even when the fight seems lost

I'll praise you

Even when it hurts like hell

I'll praise you

Even when it makes no sense to sing

Louder then I'll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

And my heart burns only for you

You are all you are all I want

And my soul waits only for you

And I will sing till the morning has come

Lord my heart burns only for you

You are all you are all I want

And my soul waits only for you

And I will sing till the miracle comes

I will only sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

Even when the morning comes

I'll praise you

Even when the fight is won

I'll praise you

Even when my time on earth is done

Louder then I'll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise


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"Even When It Hurts," by Hillsong United, captures the excruciating journey of the human spirit to endure trials of life with Godly wisdom and Biblical perspective. Written by Joel Houston and beautifully sung by Taya Smith, this timeless song is bathed in honest lyrics, raw, unfiltered emotion, and incredible vulnerability and fortitude to simply recognize that praise should be the universal response of our hearts at all times and in all circumstances. Whether mountain high or valley low, as born-again followers of Christ we are called by God to trust He has a plan and purpose for our lives which exceeds human comprehension. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11). Of course, it is easy to praise Him when life is comfortable and we have little to complain about, but do we remember to praise Him when life turns sour, or immediately turn to prayers of rescue, restoration and healing with defined time limitations? Keep in mind, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8–9). Therefore, we can resolve our minds to relinquish prideful tendencies which demand justification for the trials we face, and embrace the moment with complete abandon to the One who saved our souls and calls us to continually trust in Him, even when it hurts.

"Take this fainted heart. Take these tainted hands. Wash me in your love. Come like grace again...Take this mountain weight. Take these ocean tears. Hold me through the trial. Come like hope again." The process of successfully overcoming trials begins with surrendering our will and expectations to the Lord. Undoubtedly, our flesh will seek out every possible quick resolution to our problems without asking for God's help, or conditionally ask for it to avoid relinquishing personal control. Why? Truth be told, there is nothing more scarier for some people than to cry out, "Jesus, take the wheel," and accept the consequences of what happens next when we can't predict the future or anticipate the outcome. Yet that is the essence of faith, and we cannot expect God to abandon His sovereign will and divine purpose in favor of our fleshly agenda which is devoid of omniscient perspective. Rather, we must honestly take inventory of our hearts and in humility, embrace the promises He makes to us in His Word which declare, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you" (Isaiah 43:2). We may ask ourselves why God would make such a promise to His children, but the answer is clear: "Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you" (Isaiah 43:4a), declares the Lord.

"Even when my strength is lost, I'll praise you. Even when I have no song, I'll praise you. Even when it's hard to find the words, louder then I'll sing your praise...Even when the fight seems lost. I'll praise you. Even when it hurts like hell, I'll praise you. Even when it makes no sense to sing, louder then I'll sing your praise." Consider how prophetic the words of this song are when we examine our hearts and personally identify with the lyrics. Whether we find ourselves presently in the midst of trials, reflecting upon the past, or anxiously awaiting what lies ahead, we know more intimately than we care to admit how true these words are. Speaking from experience, I can attest how difficult it is to admit when I feel out of control emotionally, battered and bruised mentally, exhausted physically, and wounded spiritually, yet that is precisely the moment when God does His most miraculous work. He patiently waits till we've come to the end of our rope, when we're sick and tired of being sick and tired, and extends open arms of love and acceptance if we would allow Him to work in us and through us. "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28–30).

"And my heart burns only for you. You are all, you are all I want. And my soul waits only for you, and I will sing till the morning has come. Lord, my heart burns only for you. You are all, you are all I want. And my soul waits only for you, and I will sing till the miracle comes." The moment we finally relinquish ultimate control is when the Lord begins to heal our hearts and remove the scales from our eyes so we can catch a glimpse of His omniscient perspective. A shifting of the tide takes place as our personal will is brought in unison with God's, and intimate fellowship ignites a passionate fire of submission and obedience to His Word that is not easily extinguished by the enemy. However, waiting on God to do what only He can do is perhaps one of the hardest spiritual disciplines to master because our natural inclination is to take personal control (which in part, is not necessarily wrong). Discerning when we should act vs. waiting patiently on God to move is a skill mastered only by quality time in Bible study and prayer, because peace, wisdom and discernment are ultimately found in Him. In other words, we identify with the Psalmist's cry, "I wait for the Lord, my souls waits, and in his word I hope" (Psalms 130:5), yet when trials consume us we often wallow and fester in a self-imposed pit of worry, doubt, impatience and fear. Do we not believe singing praises to God for His faithfulness in the face of utter hopelessness is not a testimony of our faith to those around us? Make no mistake, our fleshly reaction or Godly response will likely be one of the most influential opportunities for evangelism we will ever partake in whether we like it or not, for the world is continually holding us accountable to the faith we profess in Christ.

Keep in mind, there is nothing more "illogical" than singing praises to God when the enormity of life comes crashing down on our psyche. No matter the cause or effect, it just doesn't make sense from a fleshly perspective to encounter trials and genuinely smile right back at them, yet that is (figuratively) what Scripture calls us to do as Christians, even when it hurts. I've often wondered when I read, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds" (James 1:2), whether we as the body of Christ seriously believe it. Consider what James is challenging us to reconcile in our hearts and minds:

• "Count It" - Take time to calculate the trials before you as if you were analyzing your personal finances with pinpoint accuracy.
• "All Joy" - Shift your attitude from negative to positive and embrace the opportunity with thankfulness and praise for every aspect and consequence the trial presents.
• "My Brothers" - Recognize you're never alone in the trials you face because you have a family of believers coming alongside you in prayer and accountability.
• "When You" - Don't be surprised when trials arise, but expect they will unpredictably come and impact your life universally.
• "Meet Trials" - Anticipate a direct confrontation with trials intended to test your character and countenance and gauge your spiritual maturity.
• "Of Various Kinds" - Appreciate the complexity of trials intentionally designed to drive you to the brink of surrendering your will for a greater purpose.

The beauty of trials is that they refine who we are in Christ, just as gold and silver are purified by fire. However, we cannot underestimate the severity of trials to which the Lord will allow in order to test our faith and grow us spiritually. Peter certainly understood this, for the Lord prophesied that he would not only be tested by fire but fail miserably. However, in the same breath Jesus exhorted Peter to learn from his mistakes and strengthen his brethren as a result by teaching them to rejoice in trials. "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:6–7). That is the power of reconciliation and restitution, forgiveness and healing, grace and mercy, and it is freely available for all who humbly call upon the name of Jesus in repentance. The Lord knew Peter would fail, yet that didn't negate the importance of Him praying for Peter nonetheless, which should emphasize to us how intimately God participates in our lives even though He knows the future and can predict our reactions and responses. I believe that is one of the greatest mysteries of heaven, that the Creator Himself would willingly absorb the wrath of our fury when we're overcome with irrational emotions and unfair accusations toward His character in the midst of trial. For He already knows every detail of our lives (past, present and future), yet His Word simply declares, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:6–7).

I believe the reason why I love, "Even When It Hurts," so much is because it echoes my heart more often than I care to admit. "When my strength is lost, when I have no song, when it's hard to find the words, when the fight seems lost, when it hurts like hell, when it makes no sense," I must resist the urge to give up all hope by casting off human instinct and embracing the unthinkable: Praise and Worship. When Taya Smith bellows at the top of her lungs, "I will only sing your praise," I am literally brought to tears because I can recall past trials when my heart echoed the same sentiment of faith under fire, and ashamedly times when I should have cried out those same words with unashamed abandon, but failed to do so because of selfish and prideful reasons. Make no mistake, our lives are a melting pot of righteous intentions and prideful choices, yet the Lord loves us unconditionally and uses us as instruments of His grace despite our shortcomings. We may never tame our unquenchable desire for answers and reasons why in the midst of trial, but this song of praise helps us recognize why we must preach the Gospel to ourselves on a daily basis. For trials will come and disrupt our fleshly comforts to the extent God allows in order to stir our hearts, awaken our minds, and stretch our faith. Why? Most notably, to guard us from becoming lazy, indifferent and complacent to the world around us. But more importantly, as a testimony of faith that God is forever glorious and worthy of our praise, even when it hurts. 

Paul said, "I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life" (1 Timothy 1:12–16). May we emulate his example and embrace trials from a different angle and fresh perspective than we typically would, in order that souls may be won for Christ based on the testimony of our lives, witnessed by those who would otherwise reject the faith altogether. "Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil" (1 Peter 3:13–17).

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS (Personal Reflection)

I've always been intrigued by the notion of making "New Year" resolutions, probably because I've never been successful holding true to them for any length of time. Why? Perhaps I'm not disciplined enough or too lazy, or maybe my motivation starts and stops at good intent with no time or energy for execution. If I boil it down to one specific reason though, I am convinced that PERSPECTIVE resides at the core of my failure. In other words, how I measure success or failure impacts my desire to continue or quit. Granted, while believing I can achieve success is a step in the right direction for positive thinking, it does not guarantee my goal will be achieved. Rather, it exponentially increases the likelihood I will make progress toward my goal. The key (for me, at least) is simply believing enough in the process to begin the journey and not becoming complacent like a sluggard so as to not try at all. "The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied" (Proverbs 13:4). Far too often in my life I have measured success or failure based solely on whether I've reached my ultimate goal or not, when I should have been focused on the process of achievements and milestones along the way rather than solely the end prize itself. Consider the following hypothetical examples of perspective gained when the resolution process is recognized and appreciated as much as the primary goal.

Which can you personally identify with?

• I may not have exercised every day, but I usually worked out 2-3 days/week.

• I may not have conquered my sweet tooth completely, but I no longer eat dessert every night before bed.

• I may not have lost 30 pounds on the scale, but I lost 10 pounds.

• I may not have read through the entire Bible cover to cover, but I read through the Gospels this year.

• I may not have spent an hour of quiet time with God each day, but I found at least 5-10 minutes most days to pray and read a highlighted Bible verse or short devotion on my phone.

• I may not have taken my wife on a special date each week, but I was able to meet her for lunch once a month.

• I may not have attended every sporting event my kids participate in, but I made it to every home game.

• I may not have received the promotion or sales contest I really wanted, but I achieved good quarterly bonuses nonetheless.

• I may not have closed the sale I worked so hard for, but I built good credibility in the process with my client. 

• I may not have completely tamed my tongue from speaking hurtful words, but I now intentionally think before I speak to avoid creating dissension in my home.

• I may not let every care in the world roll off my shoulders, but I have learned to manage my stress levels and anxiety much better.

• I may not express my emotions very easily, but I have learned to verbally affirm my wife and kids with how much I love and appreciate them each day.

• I may not have given up drinking alcohol altogether, but I now limit myself to only one drink just on special occasions.

• I may not have eliminated all the prescription medications my doctor prescribes, but I take far less than I did a year ago because of healthy changes I've made.

Whether any of these examples relate to resolutions we have actually made before is irrelevant as long as we recognize that the process of change carries as much, if not more importance than the end result itself when we look back in hindsight. The reason so many New Year resolutions are abandoned so quickly is because they are narrow in their focus regarding the success being measured. For example, should someone quit eating right and exercising regularly if they have not achieved their ideal body weight? Or should he/she celebrate the weight they have lost thus far and perhaps other residual benefits such as the reduction of medications, increased self-confidence, or all-around well being? Bottom-line: It's a matter of perspective to help stay positive and determined rather than frustrated and defeated. I liken the shift in thinking to a t-shirt I once purchased [CLICK HERE] as a powerful reminder to celebrate progress over perfection when working toward healthy changes in my life.

"I'm not the man that I ought to be, 

but thank God I'm not the man I used to be." 

That motto carries immeasurable perspective we can apply to the resolutions we make going forward, but it begins first with surrender to God who is the author of heart change. King David once said, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10), and we are wise to begin our resolutions with the same posture and perspective by elevating Him first. "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30). For the recovering addict, that simple truth can be the difference between continuing the journey toward recovery and healing through counseling and rehabilitation vs. giving up and embracing the scarlet letter of shame, regret and failure. Or for the workaholic (i.e. overworking as a "want to" vs. "have to") who struggles to disengage from work to spend time with family, that truth can be the difference between leaving the office early to attend a sporting event for their kids vs. working late under the false justification of provision over quality time. In any case, perspective is the key to not abandoning our resolutions altogether but understanding their benefit in the grand scheme of things. Resolutions begin the process by setting a goal and building a blueprint for success, while perspective takes into account the bumps along the road which derail and detour our plans as we navigate toward our goal. I prefer to think of perspective as the most important aspect of mental clarity needed when trials arise, plans change, and life happens! Because make no mistake, "The best laid schemes of mice and men go often askew, and leave us nothing but grief and pain for promised joy!" (Burns, R. 1785, "To a Mouse").

One trick I have picked up along the way to manage trials which seek to derail my resolve is recognizing that when I fall, I can pick myself up from the point at which I fell and move on. I don't have to give up or default back to the starting line. I can simply stand at the point of my trial, dust myself off, learn from my mistake so as not to repeat it, and continue making progress from that point toward my end goal. That is why Jesus encouraged Simon Peter to continue his journey of faith and not give up even though He knew Peter was about to endure a major trial and fail miserably. "'Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.' Peter said to him, 'Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.' Jesus said, "'I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me'" (Luke 22:31–34). Make no mistake, this conversation likely played out in Peter's mind countless times after the fact through incredible remorse, disappointment and regret. However, Peter eventually did arise from the ashes, learned from his mistakes, and strengthened his brothers as a result. Far too often we believe that trials and failures along the way (like a binge day eating junk food during a weight loss program) are proof we will never amount to anything or reach our goal. But we must remember we have free will to choose our own path, and with those choices comes invaluable wisdom and perspective which aid us in the future if we learn from them and continue progressing.

The truth is we are promised many things in life and one of them is trials, but the Bible challenges us to embrace them rather than resist (which most definitely runs counter-culture) as a means to a greater end. "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness" (James 1:2–3). If we think about it, our personal growth and maturity grow exponentially through our valley experiences compared to our mountaintop triumphs. Why? Because if we've never endured hardship and trial, how could we ever truly appreciate the perspective of standing upon the mountaintop and gazing down on the valley below from which we came? We look out across the landscape of our lives when we've reached our summit and appreciate the journey far more when we've struggled along the way and endured various levels of trial and pain. It is no different than a mountain climber reaching the peak of Mount Everest or a single mother graduating college far later than she originally anticipated. Perspective is gained and appreciated far more when we realize that the testing of our faith produces a firm resolve and maturity we never would have fully achieved without trials along the way.

Keep in mind, knowing trials will likely alter our course or derail our momentum does not mean we should abandon our resolve altogether toward our goals. Paul reminds us, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it" (1 Corinthians 9:24). The key is not being so dogmatic on the timing involved to avoid getting frustrated and quit. For instance, I may not read the entire Bible in a year like I planned to, but perhaps I finish it in 2 years. Practical goals like that are fairly easy to measure and adjust, but what about emotional or behavioral goals? Those are much messier and will ebb and flow perhaps in a pattern of "2 steps forward, 1 step back" at times. Therefore, Scripture exhorts, "Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil" (Matthew 5:37). What Jesus taught is that the integrity and trustworthiness of our word is paramount. If we say we're going to do something, then we need to do it or simply not make that oath/promise to begin with. What this does is eliminate the "escape clause" which our minds gravitate toward to justify cheat days or break free from reality. That may not seem like a big deal for someone on a weight loss program or disciplining to pray with their kids each night before bedtime, but for others perhaps in rehab or counseling, a cheat day can have catastrophic consequences on far more than themselves. Again, perspective is key as some of our resolutions carry greater weight than others and we are wise to discern which deserve serious consideration and zero tolerance because of the severity of the issue. Bottom-line, our word must be held in highest regard to ensure integrity is not compromised in the resolution process as we manage our course of action accordingly.

In the end, whether we make new year resolutions or not is irrelevant, for every day we make decisions which carry consequences for better or worse. I dare say that in some way, shape or form, grandiose or minute, each of us will build a plan to achieve something or set a goal for the future to work towards. It may not be an official "New Year" resolution, but it will be a resolution nonetheless which will test our character along the way as we set goals and determine to achieve some level of success or achievement. What we cannot forget is to appreciate the process and not give up so easily when trials arise along the way. That is why spiritual markers (i.e. Joshua 4) were so prevalent in the Old Testament because their intent was to remind future generations of the mighty works God performed for His people in the midst of incredible trial. Why? To strengthen their faith and give them invaluable perspective they would need in the future to not give up, but press on when they encountered similar crossroads. For when we consider trials as joys, we silence the enemy who intends to use them for our demise and gain incredible perspective for the journey ahead to ensure our success regardless the outcome. Therefore, may we never forget God allows trials to impact our lives so as to not crush our spirit, but strengthen our character so we can appreciate the small triumphs along the way when we stumble and fall. For it is absolutely critical we depend on His strength rather than our own if we are to be ultimately content and satisfied with the end result of our resolutions, Lord-willing. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:11–13).