NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS (Personal Reflection)

I've always been intrigued by the notion of making "New Year" resolutions, probably because I've never been successful holding true to them for any length of time. Why? Perhaps I'm not disciplined enough or too lazy, or maybe my motivation starts and stops at good intent with no time or energy for execution. If I boil it down to one specific reason though, I am convinced that PERSPECTIVE resides at the core of my failure. In other words, how I measure success or failure impacts my desire to continue or quit. Granted, while believing I can achieve success is a step in the right direction for positive thinking, it does not guarantee my goal will be achieved. Rather, it exponentially increases the likelihood I will make progress toward my goal. The key (for me, at least) is simply believing enough in the process to begin the journey and not becoming complacent like a sluggard so as to not try at all. "The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied" (Proverbs 13:4). Far too often in my life I have measured success or failure based solely on whether I've reached my ultimate goal or not, when I should have been focused on the process of achievements and milestones along the way rather than solely the end prize itself. Consider the following hypothetical examples of perspective gained when the resolution process is recognized and appreciated as much as the primary goal.

Which can you personally identify with?

• I may not have exercised every day, but I usually worked out 2-3 days/week.

• I may not have conquered my sweet tooth completely, but I no longer eat dessert every night before bed.

• I may not have lost 30 pounds on the scale, but I lost 10 pounds.

• I may not have read through the entire Bible cover to cover, but I read through the Gospels this year.

• I may not have spent an hour of quiet time with God each day, but I found at least 5-10 minutes most days to pray and read a highlighted Bible verse or short devotion on my phone.

• I may not have taken my wife on a special date each week, but I was able to meet her for lunch once a month.

• I may not have attended every sporting event my kids participate in, but I made it to every home game.

• I may not have received the promotion or sales contest I really wanted, but I achieved good quarterly bonuses nonetheless.

• I may not have closed the sale I worked so hard for, but I built good credibility in the process with my client. 

• I may not have completely tamed my tongue from speaking hurtful words, but I now intentionally think before I speak to avoid creating dissension in my home.

• I may not let every care in the world roll off my shoulders, but I have learned to manage my stress levels and anxiety much better.

• I may not express my emotions very easily, but I have learned to verbally affirm my wife and kids with how much I love and appreciate them each day.

• I may not have given up drinking alcohol altogether, but I now limit myself to only one drink just on special occasions.

• I may not have eliminated all the prescription medications my doctor prescribes, but I take far less than I did a year ago because of healthy changes I've made.

Whether any of these examples relate to resolutions we have actually made before is irrelevant as long as we recognize that the process of change carries as much, if not more importance than the end result itself when we look back in hindsight. The reason so many New Year resolutions are abandoned so quickly is because they are narrow in their focus regarding the success being measured. For example, should someone quit eating right and exercising regularly if they have not achieved their ideal body weight? Or should he/she celebrate the weight they have lost thus far and perhaps other residual benefits such as the reduction of medications, increased self-confidence, or all-around well being? Bottom-line: It's a matter of perspective to help stay positive and determined rather than frustrated and defeated. I liken the shift in thinking to a t-shirt I once purchased [CLICK HERE] as a powerful reminder to celebrate progress over perfection when working toward healthy changes in my life.

"I'm not the man that I ought to be, 

but thank God I'm not the man I used to be." 

That motto carries immeasurable perspective we can apply to the resolutions we make going forward, but it begins first with surrender to God who is the author of heart change. King David once said, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10), and we are wise to begin our resolutions with the same posture and perspective by elevating Him first. "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30). For the recovering addict, that simple truth can be the difference between continuing the journey toward recovery and healing through counseling and rehabilitation vs. giving up and embracing the scarlet letter of shame, regret and failure. Or for the workaholic (i.e. overworking as a "want to" vs. "have to") who struggles to disengage from work to spend time with family, that truth can be the difference between leaving the office early to attend a sporting event for their kids vs. working late under the false justification of provision over quality time. In any case, perspective is the key to not abandoning our resolutions altogether but understanding their benefit in the grand scheme of things. Resolutions begin the process by setting a goal and building a blueprint for success, while perspective takes into account the bumps along the road which derail and detour our plans as we navigate toward our goal. I prefer to think of perspective as the most important aspect of mental clarity needed when trials arise, plans change, and life happens! Because make no mistake, "The best laid schemes of mice and men go often askew, and leave us nothing but grief and pain for promised joy!" (Burns, R. 1785, "To a Mouse").

One trick I have picked up along the way to manage trials which seek to derail my resolve is recognizing that when I fall, I can pick myself up from the point at which I fell and move on. I don't have to give up or default back to the starting line. I can simply stand at the point of my trial, dust myself off, learn from my mistake so as not to repeat it, and continue making progress from that point toward my end goal. That is why Jesus encouraged Simon Peter to continue his journey of faith and not give up even though He knew Peter was about to endure a major trial and fail miserably. "'Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.' Peter said to him, 'Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.' Jesus said, "'I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me'" (Luke 22:31–34). Make no mistake, this conversation likely played out in Peter's mind countless times after the fact through incredible remorse, disappointment and regret. However, Peter eventually did arise from the ashes, learned from his mistakes, and strengthened his brothers as a result. Far too often we believe that trials and failures along the way (like a binge day eating junk food during a weight loss program) are proof we will never amount to anything or reach our goal. But we must remember we have free will to choose our own path, and with those choices comes invaluable wisdom and perspective which aid us in the future if we learn from them and continue progressing.

The truth is we are promised many things in life and one of them is trials, but the Bible challenges us to embrace them rather than resist (which most definitely runs counter-culture) as a means to a greater end. "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness" (James 1:2–3). If we think about it, our personal growth and maturity grow exponentially through our valley experiences compared to our mountaintop triumphs. Why? Because if we've never endured hardship and trial, how could we ever truly appreciate the perspective of standing upon the mountaintop and gazing down on the valley below from which we came? We look out across the landscape of our lives when we've reached our summit and appreciate the journey far more when we've struggled along the way and endured various levels of trial and pain. It is no different than a mountain climber reaching the peak of Mount Everest or a single mother graduating college far later than she originally anticipated. Perspective is gained and appreciated far more when we realize that the testing of our faith produces a firm resolve and maturity we never would have fully achieved without trials along the way.

Keep in mind, knowing trials will likely alter our course or derail our momentum does not mean we should abandon our resolve altogether toward our goals. Paul reminds us, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it" (1 Corinthians 9:24). The key is not being so dogmatic on the timing involved to avoid getting frustrated and quit. For instance, I may not read the entire Bible in a year like I planned to, but perhaps I finish it in 2 years. Practical goals like that are fairly easy to measure and adjust, but what about emotional or behavioral goals? Those are much messier and will ebb and flow perhaps in a pattern of "2 steps forward, 1 step back" at times. Therefore, Scripture exhorts, "Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil" (Matthew 5:37). What Jesus taught is that the integrity and trustworthiness of our word is paramount. If we say we're going to do something, then we need to do it or simply not make that oath/promise to begin with. What this does is eliminate the "escape clause" which our minds gravitate toward to justify cheat days or break free from reality. That may not seem like a big deal for someone on a weight loss program or disciplining to pray with their kids each night before bedtime, but for others perhaps in rehab or counseling, a cheat day can have catastrophic consequences on far more than themselves. Again, perspective is key as some of our resolutions carry greater weight than others and we are wise to discern which deserve serious consideration and zero tolerance because of the severity of the issue. Bottom-line, our word must be held in highest regard to ensure integrity is not compromised in the resolution process as we manage our course of action accordingly.

In the end, whether we make new year resolutions or not is irrelevant, for every day we make decisions which carry consequences for better or worse. I dare say that in some way, shape or form, grandiose or minute, each of us will build a plan to achieve something or set a goal for the future to work towards. It may not be an official "New Year" resolution, but it will be a resolution nonetheless which will test our character along the way as we set goals and determine to achieve some level of success or achievement. What we cannot forget is to appreciate the process and not give up so easily when trials arise along the way. That is why spiritual markers (i.e. Joshua 4) were so prevalent in the Old Testament because their intent was to remind future generations of the mighty works God performed for His people in the midst of incredible trial. Why? To strengthen their faith and give them invaluable perspective they would need in the future to not give up, but press on when they encountered similar crossroads. For when we consider trials as joys, we silence the enemy who intends to use them for our demise and gain incredible perspective for the journey ahead to ensure our success regardless the outcome. Therefore, may we never forget God allows trials to impact our lives so as to not crush our spirit, but strengthen our character so we can appreciate the small triumphs along the way when we stumble and fall. For it is absolutely critical we depend on His strength rather than our own if we are to be ultimately content and satisfied with the end result of our resolutions, Lord-willing. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:11–13).