CLEAN (Personal Reflection)

I see shattered

You see whole

I see broken

But You see beautiful

And You're helping me to believe

You're restoring me piece by piece

There's nothing too dirty 

That You can't make worthy

You wash me in mercy

I am clean

There's nothing too dirty 

That You can't make worthy

You wash me in mercy

I am clean

What was dead now lives again

My heart's beating, beating inside my chest

Oh I'm coming alive with joy and destiny

'Cause You're restoring me piece by piece

There's nothing too dirty 

That You can't make worthy

You wash me in mercy

I am clean

There's nothing too dirty

That You can't make worthy

You wash me in mercy

I am clean

Washed in the blood of Your sacrifice

Your blood flowed red and made me white

My dirty rags are purified

I am clean

Washed in the blood of Your sacrifice

Your blood flowed red and made me white

My dirty rags are purified

I'm clean, I'm clean

Washed in the blood of Your sacrifice

Your blood flowed red and made me white

My dirty rags are purified

I'm clean

I am clean

I'm clean

Oh You made me

You wash me

Clean

Oh You made me clean

[CLICK HERE if video does not load.]

I love worship music because it stirs my emotions, speaks to my heart, and awakens my soul. It shifts my natural inclination off love of self and focuses my attention on who God is and what He has done to save a wretch like me. In particular, worship music has the power to transcend barriers of society to the point where atheists even acknowledge the power of the lyric, as is the case with John Newton's, "Amazing Grace," written in 1779 and arguably one of the most popular and recognizable songs of all time across all genres (secular or Christian). However, there are more recent contemporary worship songs which echo the raw emotion and Biblical truth of ancient hymns many of us grew up singing and treasure to this day. For me, there is no greater song which infinitely blesses by heart and soul more than Natalie Grant's, "Clean" (video and lyrics attached below). It is difficult for me to express how much I love this song and this live performance video in particular because it captures the emotions I long to express but cannot find the voice to speak. Truthfully, I have been singing my whole life and have helped lead worship at various churches across the U.S. for years, and this is the ONLY song I cannot bring myself to sing along with when I watch this video, and that is because Natalie Grant's performance is literally angelic. The piano, the lyrics, the raw emotion and vulnerability of the vocal—all are simply perfection. It is what I imagine every born-again heart proclaims in it's own unique way when it accepts Christ as Lord and Savior, because this song encompasses what it meant for Jesus Christ to die on a cross for the sins of mankind.

For me, singing comes naturally, so it is a rare instance that I fail to sing along with any worship song. However, there are times when it is just as powerful to worship God in silent reverence and awe because He is worthy of praise, even when I am left speechless. Scripture affirms, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God" (Romans 8:26–27). It is comforting to know when I cannot summon the words to express myself, the Spirit intercedes on my behalf. For those who read my devotions, lack of words has never been a struggle of mine (for better or worse), but there is something special when the power of a worshipful moment renders someone speechless. I believe this song has the power to shake the very core of anyone who listens to it because the message confronts spiritual warfare head on. The contrast of how we see ourselves compared to the vantage point of God is humbling. For as the lyric states, I see myself as shattered, broken and dirty, yet God looks down upon me through the lens of His perfect Son, not my dirty rags. That is the beauty of the Gospel message.

• "For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation" (Romans 5:6–11).

I am always intrigued to learn the background of a song and what inspired its composition. I found an interview [click here to read] Natalie Grant gave where she provides the personal story and inspiration behind, "Clean," which centers around the impact traumatic, life circumstances have on our psyche. Whether the result of personal sin or sin committed against us, the necessity of being washed clean from painful consequences is a picture we all can identify with. Thankfully, there are numerous instances where Scripture speaks to the need of cleansing in order that we might identify with the authors and emulate their example of prayer and supplication.

• "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment" (Psalm 51:1–4).

• "O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more" (Psalm 10:17–18).

• "Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause. Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool" (Isaiah 1:16–18).

Make no mistake, Satan would have us believe there are things in our lives that are too dirty, too destructive, too selfish, or too evil to be forgiven and accepted by God. Yet God views us through the lens of unconditional love made possible through the atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross. Consider the lyrics again. Because of Jesus, God sees us as whole, beautiful, restored, alive and clean. Therefore, we no longer have to live in fear of our past and shamefully carry our burdens like a scarlet letter. No longer are we bound and shackled to believe that our present circumstances deem us unworthy of God's grace, mercy, love and forgiveness. And no longer are we deceived to believe that any trial or tribulation that awaits us in the future will have any power to destroy the joy of our salvation which is found in Christ Jesus. 

• "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:35–39).

The biggest lie we can ever fall victim to believing centers around our identity. In Christ, we have all the joy, peace and sufficiency we need to endure our past, present and future struggles, whether by self-inflicted sin or the result of another's offense against us. Therefore, it is imperative we hold fast to the Lord because He promises in His Word, "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten" (Joel 2:25a). In other words, our identity is not our sin, not our shame, and not held captive by fear or doubt. Rather from God's righteous and holy perspective, our identity as born-again believers is found in Christ Jesus, bathed in the blood of his miraculous sacrifice on our behalf that we could be reconciled to God if we accept His gift of salvation. That is the power of the Gospel which destroys strongholds established by the enemy to tempt our minds into thinking we are too dirty for God to heal and restore us to Himself, and that is the assurance we need to never lose hope in the midst of the storm.

• "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20).

• "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation" (2 Corinthians 5:17–19).

In the end, restoration from brokenness is dependent upon us trusting that God is forever faithful if we hold fast to His unconditional love which calls us home. I know from personal experience there were moments in my life when I felt so dirty for sins I committed that I considered whether taking my own life was a viable solution to atone for it. In other words, the consequences that come from volitional sins or sins committed against us (as is the case for abuse victims) can so overwhelm us that we are overcome with what appears to be unquenchable guilt and grief. We feel condemned by our circumstances and identified by them as a result, but those are the moments when the Spirit of God intervenes with CONVICTION and HOPE. When we've reached the point where we're sick and tired of being sick and tired, the Holy Spirit convicts us with the absolute truth of God's Word in whatever form or fashion He deems appropriate in order to draw our attention toward the unending hope of His grace. For me, God often chooses music as a form of direct communication to my heart, reminding me who I am as a child of God in Christ Jesus. And that is why a song like Natalie Grant's, "Clean," is so precious to me, because it meets me in the valley, reminds me I am valued and treasured by my Father in heaven, and lifts my gaze toward the amazing promise of His healing power and unconditional love. May it be an anthem of restoration and praise we continually preach to our hearts, that we may never forget our true identity in Christ Jesus as sons and daughters of the Most High God (2 Corinthians 6:18).

• "I (Jesus) have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world" (John 16:32–33).